Damage Limitation, A Negligent Father & Nipple Clamps Are For Slags

When I look at the last time I posted something here I feel ashamed and prostrate myself in front of the literally 9 of you who read this thing.

I am chastened & bowed for my lack of contact and if this blog were my child then the CSA would definitely be sending burly cockerneys round my gaff to kick down my front door, call me a slag and try to convince my lower intestine to start shitting £50 notes or it’s time for the vice, the hammer and the nipple clamps (if the CSA even exists anymore, that is).

It’s not for a lack of ideas that I haven’t updated anything, It’s a lack of time.

Actually, as I typed that I realised it’s a lie and, like Loreal tells us all; “You’re worth it” (or whichever souless cosmetic company uses that as their tagline). Or rather, to paraphrase; you’re worth not being lied to.

I’ve got at least 6 things either drafted or in my head to write but haven’t. There may be a content frenzy over the course of the next two weeks, there may not be. But there will definitely be at least two three things in the next week for sure, or for those of you reading who speak jive: fo’ sho’.

For a start I need to finish off this immense gaming thing I’ve been writing. Maybe it’s time to stop fiddling with it & just click the ‘Publish’ button. I can always go back & redo it.

It’s not gone unnoticed either that during my absence this blog celebrated it’s year anniversary and, like a father who’s child tells a counsellor how his dad was never there for him when he was a kid, I was nowhere to be seen.

Seems little point in celebrating now as it’s about five weeks since the actual ‘birthday’ so to speak. And still, like an absent father, I can’t even be bothered to remember it’s birthday.

I’m a horrible person. No, I’m not.  This blog is NOT a child and if anything I’m just a bad admin. This blog will not one day be describing my negligence to Google. Not unless the machines get all ‘self-aware’ & take over.

Which they almost certainly will. James Cameron doesn’t lie.

I think the main change since it started has been the gradual change from it being something I do ritually regardless of what’s going on to something i do whenever i get the chance/can be bothered.

Setting aside time to write every day would be ideal if I was a self employed writer and didn’t have a ‘real’ job and a hundred other things to do or think about. Then again, my life and reality are whatever I choose them to be so if I really wanted to, I could find the time.

I remember this time last year ranting and moralising about how we wouldn’t do anything if we didn’t find the time and now I should go back & read that to give myself a kick up the nose. See, this blog is useful for something! If only to me.

Once.

In over a year.

Still, I have to go, there appears to be two burly men knocking on my door. Wonder what they want…?